My name is Natalie and I am a mother to my beautiful daughter Iyla Frankie, who was born March 2013! She is an absolute angel and is incredibly bright, copying everything you say and do….which has included the odd swear word….oooops naughty mummy lol!!! I am so thankful to have such a healthy and happy little lady. It is hard not to smile while she smiles and laughs back at you.
However, there is a darker side…..I am also a sufferer of Post Natal Depression (PND), just like so many others all over the world. I was diagnosed 4 months after the birth of my daughter, although it had been eating away at me long before then.
A lot has changed since the moment when I first found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately for me, the journey of motherhood so far has been marred by the destruction and devastation caused by PND, it has been all consuming and has affected every aspect of my life……sounds rather dramatic but it’s true!
I wanted to start a blog for a number of different reasons, and it is something that I have thought about many times, but have never had the strength to do so….until now…..I am having a good day so thought that I would take this opportunity whilst I am feeling positive lol!
One of the initial reasons for me writing this blog was to help me work through my own feelings and issues….most of the time I am so frustrated as I have no control over how I feel, and more often than not there are no real reasons for the compulsions and feelings I have. I am desperate to make sense of it all. At school I was very badly bullied and I found that writing things down always helped me through the tough times. So fingers crossed this blog will allow me to express my feelings instead of them being all jumbled up in my head, and eventually to escape the clutches of this depression.
I now realise that the support out there for sufferers of PND is limited and once you have been prescribed some pills, away you go, and to a large extent you are left to your own devices. I am hoping that I can make others battling PND realise they are not alone and not going crazy. I will post links to organisations and charities that are there to offer support for us, helpful quotes and poems, and provide as much information as I can about the facts and symptoms. Popping pills does not make it all go away, it really is a daily torment and a struggle for survival….again, perhaps a bit on the dramatic side but there will be those of you who read this and know exactly what I mean!
Now this next reason is one that is surprisingly monumental…..to enlighten those who don’t understand and judge us! Also to provide an understanding for those that are trying to support loved ones who have been diagnosed with PND. This has been a massive issue surrounding my PND, trying to help my husband to understand what I am going through so he can support me when times are tough. I know it’s not easy, but how can I tell him how to support me when I have no idea myself what I need.
So,if anyone out there has anything that they feel has helped them or even if they want to express their points of view, go for it!! I would love for this blog to grow into something that can help others and be a hub of information, help, love and support.