About Me & My Blog

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My name is Natalie and I am a mother to my beautiful daughter Iyla Frankie, who was born March 2013! She is an absolute angel and is incredibly bright, copying everything you say and do….which has included the odd swear word….oooops naughty mummy lol!!! I am so thankful to have such a healthy and happy little lady. It is hard not to smile while she smiles and laughs back at you.

However, there is a darker side…..I am also a sufferer of Post Natal Depression (PND), just like so many others all over the world. I was diagnosed 4 months after the birth of my daughter, although it had been eating away at me long before then.

A lot has changed since the moment when I first found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately for me, the journey of motherhood so far has been marred by the destruction and devastation caused by PND, it has been all consuming and has affected every aspect of my life……sounds rather dramatic but it’s true!

I wanted to start a blog for a number of different reasons, and it is something that I have thought about many times, but have never had the strength to do so….until now…..I am having a good day so thought that I would take this opportunity whilst I am feeling positive lol!

One of the initial reasons for me writing this blog was to help me work through my own feelings and issues….most of the time I am so frustrated as I have no control over how I feel, and more often than not there are no real reasons for the compulsions and feelings I have. I am desperate to make sense of it all. At school I was very badly bullied and I found that writing things down always helped me through the tough times. So fingers crossed this blog will allow me to express my feelings instead of them being all jumbled up in my head, and eventually to escape the clutches of this depression.

I now realise that the support out there for sufferers of PND is limited and once you have been prescribed some pills, away you go, and to a large extent you are left to your own devices. I am hoping that I can make others battling PND realise they are not alone and not going crazy. I will post links to organisations and charities that are there to offer support for us, helpful quotes and poems, and provide as much information as I can about the facts and symptoms. Popping pills does not make it all go away, it really is a daily torment and a struggle for survival….again, perhaps a bit on the dramatic side but there will be those of you who read this and know exactly what I mean!

Now this next reason is one that is surprisingly monumental…..to enlighten those who don’t understand and judge us! Also to provide an understanding for those that are trying to support loved ones who have been diagnosed with PND. This has been a massive issue surrounding my PND, trying to help my husband to understand what I am going through so he can support me when times are tough. I know it’s not easy, but how can I tell him how to support me when I have no idea myself what I need.

So,if anyone out there has anything that they feel has helped them or even if they want to express their points of view, go for it!! I would love for this blog to grow into something that can help others and be a hub of information, help, love and support.

Mwah…….

Natalie xxxxxx

 

 

4 thoughts on “About Me & My Blog

  1. Georgie Shevki says:

    This is such a fantastic idea… I have a feeling it’s going to help a lot of women, and men too. It’s made me feel more positive today already! X

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  2. Dawn says:

    I wish something like this was around when I was suffering from PND, it was barely acknowledged back then and people didn’t even want to know. Trust me, no matter how bad things become, you DO come out the other end. It starts oh so silently and quietly you don’t even notice the beginning of recovery until one day you wake up and suddenly realise you are actually looking forward to the day, or to something you have planned, rather than dreading it wondering how the heck you are going to get through the day?!! The panic starts to subside over the thought of doing something – even going to the shops praying you wont meet anyone you know because you cant face even talking to anyone!! This is a poem I found during those dark days that I used to read.

    Happiness is like a butterfly
    The more you chase it
    The more it will elude you
    But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and softly sits on your shoulder

    And that’s exactly how my recovery started – I barely noticed the ‘U turn’

    That word ‘strength’ (the posting in this blog) is the key, you are the only one who doesn’t know how strong you are, because sometimes even getting out of bed and getting through the day takes an enormous amount of strength and will power – know one has any idea just how much some days. But it DOES and WILL become better, hold onto the fact that there IS light at the end of the tunnel/journey that you are on, and you will get there in the end!!

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  3. Hazel Coutts says:

    Reading this considering we grew up together at school I know people go through this after having a child but you have captured the honesty well done. After having my daughter Aimee Leigh 3 years ago I feel for all that suffer from this as it should be the best moments of your life. But Natalie enjoy her she is very special. Xxx much love xx

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  4. Jacqui Lea says:

    I suffered with PND over 21 years ago now but it did affect my life massively at the time. I struggled on until my daughter was 6 months old and finally broke down with my Doctor and then got the help I needed. I was very good at hiding it and things slowly got better after being put on anti-depressents. My husband totally changed his behaviour and helped take my daughter away to give me time after that and they developed a great bond they would never of had. I realised that the issues I have with my mother came to a head when I had my own daughter. I had my daughter 2/3 rds of the way through my degree and we moved into the farmhouse and business shortly before the birth. So it all got too much for me. I always felt I was a rubbish mother and inadequate. I did slowly get better and was allowed to have a second child 4 and a half years later ( a boy) and then 5 years after that I had twins. I am a better person for the episode and love my kids to bits. I started my own business when my son was born and my husband and i share the childcare etc and survived it. My mother hasn’t got any better but I protect myself and refuse to let others push me around. You never forget PND you just learn to conquer it. xx

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